I bought this book at a bookstore
just so that I could read something
old and smart.
But I actually really like it.
I think I’m getting old and smart.
I walked by the smelly boy from my floor last year
on the street with friends.
I didn’t know smelly boys could have friends.
I keep getting mad and
then forgetting what I’m mad about.
So I’m left with this electricity
in my arms
and no justifiable reason for it.
I’m going places.
I’m going on Adventures but
Adventures are expensive.
I’m in a Chinese Food Restaurant.
I can’t read anything on the menu
and I’m thinking.
I’m ordering a latte
and I’m thinking.
I’m in a boy’s bed
and I’m thinking.
I’m at the gym
And I see a girl running next to me.
Pretty, short, blonde
and she’s running really hard.
Going at it, and
next to her is this boy.
cute.
big nose
but cute.
He’s running really fast too.
Their feet are almost hitting the tread
at the exact same time,
and I wonder if they know each other.
If they’re from the same state or in a class together.
Maybe they’ll be in a class together next semester
or maybe they’ll meet at a party in 10 years
and really hit it off.
Maybe they’ll even fall in love.
They’ll know they were made for one another
but they won’t know about this moment
at the gym.
They won’t know that their feet were almost hitting the tread
at the exact same time.
Only I’ll know.
And they’ll know what their honeymoon was like
and what their first kid’s name will be
and what it was like to buy their first house,
watch each other lose parents
but I won’t.
I’ll only know what this moment
at the gym
was like.
And suddenly I’m lonely.
Suddenly I feel this massive burden and
suddenly I’m thinking about all the people on this planet
that I’ll never meet.
And all the people who I have met
but who I’ll never see again and
then I’m thinking about the people who I know
and maybe love
who one day
I won’t even be Facebook friends with.
And now I’m like,
crying at the gym and
I’m hoping that everyone thinks my tears are just sweat. And
then I realize that probably nobody’s looking at me.
Probably nobody is thinking about me
like I was about those two strangers
who have both finished their runs and
are heading out
at the exact same time.
But then I think
maybe they were.
Maybe they want to know my name,
and what it was like to go to my high-school.
Maybe they want to date me,
or maybe they want to be my friend.
Or maybe they’ve seen me around campus.
Maybe they know someone who knows me and maybe,
God-forbid
they read my introduction on the BU Class of 2018 Facebook page.
Maybe they’ve seen me
drunk at a party,
or maybe
that time I left my shoes in my friends bag and
had to walk home barefoot.
Maybe they’ll
read my novel one day, or
see me in a movie.
Maybe they’ll lie to all their friends
that they knew me personally
back when I was a nobody.
And then I look down at the screen of my eliptical and
it’s flashing at me.
I realize that I haven’t been running for a while.
I’ve just been stopped and staring
at my water bottle.
And the screen is flashing at me.
‘PEDAL FASTER’
it says.
And so I do.
We all have these everyday thoughts however, on paper, yours come alive! Loved spending the afternoon with you in Italia/Boston !!! Love…
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